Earthy Ramblings

Dedication to my sister

2006-06-03T12:19:00.000-07:00

My Sister, Robin Marie...Woman of history. Woman of poetry. Woman of strengths I can only dream about, weaknesses that make her more real, and the mind of a timeless genius. Her spirit is capable of raging like a beautiful tempest, and sighing like a dancing red leaf. I am so proud of her, it hurts. She is my hero.

My Sister and I share a special bond that no one will understand, including ourselves. Yes we fight, but there is just something there in the two of us that is rare in other siblings. It goes way way way beyond obligation. A metaphysical sisterhood that extends beyond our DNA. We love/honor/admire eachother in a fashion that is pure and poweful. We are so different, yet so the same. She is a work of art.

Sometimes I think I really should start my own business

2006-04-27T19:09:00.000-07:00

FUCK the outdoor clothing industry. I've just jumped on the synthetic band wagon after running a race in a synthetic shirt, and already I am PISSED off with this corporate niche. I was mad before I starting wearing synthetic materials. I don't want my hiking boots in pink, you marketing schmuck. If a man can wear red boots, so can I. And you know what? I want to. I like red. I don't like pink. Seriously, who wants a ski jacket in light purple? Not me! I want it in forest green. But guess what? I have to buy the man's jacket to get it in forest green. At Big 5 today (I only went there because they had a sale and I had a coupon. I would not suggest it otherwise unless you want to buy crap) I had the wonderful choices of magenta, lavender, pink, and light blue. AHHH! What the hell? Why do all women's outdoor gear come in fucking pastels! Outdoorsy women generally AREN'T girly, so why the hell do they come in girly colors? If it weren't for the FUNCTIONAL benefit I would just give up and buy men's gear. But unfortunately, a pink backpack desgined for a woman is by far superior than a navy blue one designed for a man. At least on a woman's body it is. If I want attractive and functional, I have to spend an arm and a leg buying Prana or some other over priced brand. Yes, they are better quality and come in earth tones, but I just can't afford it right now. So I get stuck with pink gear. I should start my own business that markets to woman FUNCTIONALLY and FASHIONABLY. Now, I know a lot of you are probably saying, what the hell, this chick wants to look good outdoors? What kind of yuppie BS is that? Well, I don't use trekking poles and I don't like pink. Does that sound like a yuppie to you? You draw the line. I just like the colors I wear to reflect the person I am. I don't think that is too much to ask. And I am NOT pink. And seriously, if I am going to spend 70 dollars on a fucking biking jersey, it sure as hell is not going to look like that flowered pink-purple someone vomited up a 6 year old's bed room see above. I guess since I don't have any boobs, I could buy a men's bike jersey. Oh, another thing since I am on the topic of boobs, not all small chested women are a size 4, marketing schmucks must be men. Damn it, I am still pissed. I'm going to the gym. Maybe I'll have a business plan after run. Errrr.

Changing it up

2006-04-26T10:38:00.000-07:00

There are days when I awake and monotony fills my bones. My skin crawls because my day is laid out before me at sunrise the same as it was the day before, and the day before that, and the day before that. I crawl out of bed with Bonnie Rait lyrics on my mind, "What the hell kind of person, goes to work in the morning, comes home in the evening, with nothing to say." I loathe this type of living. When I wake on mornings draped in this sensation, I have to trudge through a huge pile of work to feel productive, first. From Memoirs of a Geisha, "There is nothing like work to get over disappointment." But only REAL work, blood, sweat, and tears, will help one escape the slump of status quo. For me this could mean, slamming out my thesis, finishing one of my gazillion to do lists, or running farther than I ever have before--ideally, all of the above. That is the perfect way for me to make a sour day turn golden. Somehow, I have to sweat the monotony out. THEN, I have to do something crazy. Something out of the ordinary. Something random, enlightening, and inspiring. Whether that is doing a new watercolor painting, writing a new poem, going on a night hike, playing near the monument with my sister, watching a Shakespeare movie, staying up all night and reading Robert Frost poems in my bath tub with a glass of red wine, watching C-span while working on a charcoal sketch, cooking a new recipe with a friend, reading a history book, watching one of my favorite movies, throwing a last minute dance party with my sister in her room, making a new mix CD, compiling inspiring quotes, having an impromptu bonfire, going to library and learning something new because I can and I want to and not because any body is making me, planning a backpacking trip on my topo software, calling a friend and telling them a new pirate joke, or even listening to an entire Smashing Pumpkins CD while I revamp my resume, its the little things in a day that spice up a Monday-Friday 9 to 5 existence that are important to me. Laughter, spiritual growth, and sharing magical moments with friends matters as much as success. Every man or woman has a different way they survive the existence that is American drudgery. How do you do it? What gets you through the week when life starts to repeat itself, and you wonder if you are guest starring in Groundhog Day? Life doesn’t always have to wait for the weekend. Carpe Diem.

Where is Sill Hills Waterfall?

2006-04-18T22:09:00.000-07:00

Mud, fog, and laughter filled my Saturday in Cuyamaca Rancho State Park. We were three strong and the forest was eerie. The hike was in an area that burnt down three years ago, so all the oaks and alders were dead, black, and leafless. On top of that, the entire hillside was covered in fog. A very Tim Burton experience. The trail was a couple inches deep in mud as well. At one point someone said in jest, "Nice hike, Averbeck." We were trying to find a certain waterfall, but we never did because I didn't bring a proper map and we couldn’t be certain we weren’t trespassing onto private land. In fact, I am certain we were. However, I am convinced looking for the waterfall was more fun than finding it would have been. We found a burnt out cabin and it was full of fascinating photo opportunities, so we stopped there for a while and tried or best to be artistic. My friend Dre is a photographer, and she was very pleased at the find. She likes rusty old objects apparently. There were old cast iron appliances circa early 1900s that had burnt and rusted, but they were visually and historically fascinating. It was great to see the new trees budding up. It was a good lesson in forest succession for me. It was hard to believe the fire was three years ago. In places it still smelled like a freshly put out campfire. I always imagined succession to move more quickly. At the end of the hike the fog finally cleared and we could look back and see the hill side we'd tramped up and down trying to find that waterfall. We would have kept looking, but we didn't bring a flashlight or a map, so we had to call it quits for safety sake. We found a beautiful cascade none the less, and it suited or lust for running water visual stimulation. I want to go back there when it's not so foggy, and I can give myself more time to try and find the waterfall. It was really great to share that day in the mud and the fog with good friends. I hope to always live a life where such adventures, even small trivial ones such as looking for a waterfall in the mud and the fog, are something I can share with people I care about.

Some movies, man...some movies....

2006-01-06T22:14:00.000-08:00

My list of favorite movies is vast and random. From Medicine Man, to Dead Poets Society, to Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, to Motorcycle Diaries, to Little Big Man, and so forth. I can't pin point what it is I love about a movie, I just do. I have just returned from seeing Broke Back Mountain, and I am proud to say, I am adding it to the list.

First of all, the scenery in this movie. By God, the scenery! It makes me want to go to Wyoming even more than I used to. Even if you hate the movie, you will be left breathless by the amazing setting. I've never seen such beautiful wooded crags.

And then, of course, there is Heath Ledger. Not only is he an amazing actor, but he is a beautiful beautiful specimen of a man. And I can not resist him in his cowboy getup. Even though he is gay in the movie, I left the movie in love with him.

The pace of the movie, the script, the art direction, all compliment each other perfectly. It's so real, so true feeling, you are left on the verge of tears after nearly every scene. Even when they are just sharing whiskey by a campfire, you are left in awe.

The love in this movie is beautiful, and heartbreaking. Ying and Yang. The Good, the bad, and unfortunately, the ugly. I hope that this movie reaches out to people. I hope it makes a difference. It has the potential. Always support anti-hate crime legislation. And go see Brokeback Mountain.

Pure Emotion.

2005-12-01T21:20:00.000-08:00

Women are more emotional than men. It's not an insult or an absolute truth, but it is a general observation. Often the emotionality of women is in excess. Example: Valetine's Day. This is a lame holiday that was created by capitalists to feed of off women's insecurities and emotions, and they fall for it every year. Don't celebrate it. I'll wait until February to really get into that, however. Holding on to negative emotions is a problem for many females as well, including myself. Feeling sad is often appropriate and healthy, but some women make a living out of it.

Although there is a negative side to the excess of emotions in women, and it can lead us to being accused of behaving as irrational beings, there is also a very beautiful side. For instance, as a female, it is accepted by society if a desert sunset brings me to tears. If a man were to do this, society in general would mock him for being feminine. I am very thankful that I was born a woman, because I can express my emotions without fear of scorn when something beautiful moves me to tears. I think the moments where I am laughing uncontrollably, smiling uncontrollably, or crying tears of joy uncontrollably, are the meaning of life. Being moved by the little things is what makes it all worth it. Feeling the emotion swell in my core as I stand at the top of a mountain, the base of a giant sequoia, or the edge of a desert cliff, is my emotional addiction. Nature moves me.

Humanity, also moves me. Some people can not be moved by humanity because they have lost all faith, but I am either ignorant, naive, or idealistic enough, to be moved by the collective or individual good deeds of humanity. According to society, its ok for men to cry at their child's birth or their wedding, but too much emotion in other situations makes them sissy.

It's not even about tears though, its about feeling--- feeling something so deep it causes joy to creep out of your orifices, literally or metaphorically. In the film, American Beauty, the male character is deeply moved by the dance of a plastic grocery sack dancing in an alley breeze. These are the moments I want to hear about. I know I don't have a huge following for this blog (yet), but if you are a male reading this, I would love to hear about a moment where something moved you deeply to the point of feeling an emotion that society would generally shun because it is not perceived as manly or macho. Moved men, besides being incredibly sexy, move me. Because pure emotion, (ie emotion not driven by commercialism) is just as beautiful as the moment that inspired it.

I have a friend that once blogged about a shimmering red leaf. He found the leaf to be beautiful, and held on to it because of the way the leaf made him feel. And when the leaf fell about in his pant's pocket, he was sad. This is the type of moment I live for. Inspiration from a shimmering red leaf. What could be more beautiful?

So tell me your stories, ladies and gentlemen. Let it all out. Whether it was inspired by a single individual (e.g. you're sleeping girlfriend in the moon light), a group of individuals (e.g. a room full of friends and family singing you happy birthday while they wait for you to blow out the candles), or a moment in art, history, or discovery (standing before an original Picasso, watching the fall of the Berlin wall, or watching man walk on the moon), I want to know. What single moments in life made you feel alive? What has driven YOU to the ecstasy of PURE emotion?

What is culture?

2005-11-16T21:37:00.000-08:00

What is culture? Is it as concrete as the rituals of your ethnic ancestors? Is it as elusive as the concept of the soul? Is it merely a fancy word for hobbies, habits, and personal tastes? I am fascinated by the concept of culture, because frequently, it eludes young white Americans. If you ask the average born- in - the - USA white teenager, "What is your culture?” they'll shrug their shoulders and say, "I dunno, American?" To understand myself, my culture, and the consequences of these, I am going to dive deep into the concepts of the definition of culture, the identification of White American culture(s), and the characteristics of my own culture as I see it.
First, we need to define culture for the context of this discussion. A primary distinction is that culture is learned. Culture is not a genetic trait. You learn to like hamburgers and milkshakes as an American. You aren’t born liking hamburgers and milkshakes as an American. But beyond being something that society teaches us, what is culture? Another key concept required for understanding culture, is that it is shared by a group of people. To identify with a culture, others must identify with the culture as well, otherwise you are just identifying with yourself, and this is not culture but self identity.

I believe culture is created and composed by the things that influence you on an individual character defining level. This is a huge category, obviously. This means your upbringing, your economic status, your religion, your politics, your environment, your hobbies, your music taste, and your daily choices are all part of your culture. Although my definition of culture is broad, and perhaps overwhelming, I find to narrow the definition is to underestimate the power of culture on the individual, and thus the power of the individual on society.

The concept of "American" as one's culture, can conjure scary thoughts to outsiders. It's as if one is ignorantly declaring, my culture is Starbucks. My culture is Wal-Mart. My culture is Enron. But my culture is none of these things, and I consider myself an American through and through.

I have often been told, what I declare as my culture, is not culture. But I disagree. What I identify with I have learned to identify with from the lessons of my surrounding environment and society. My culture is environmentalism, individualism, and intellectualism. These are the things I admire and identify with most as an American. Is this my culture? I think so. But some say no; I have no culture, because I am American.

This stark ‘lack’ of culture that characterizes white America today is why postmodern movements such as ‘Emo kids’ are gaining in popularity. It gives them a culture to identify with. And like it or not, I think culture is necessary for the survival of the human spirit. But a stark lack of culture has not always described America. Think of the culture of the 60s, the jazz movement, or the astounding number of regional cultures that exist today still such as Appalachia. America is not culture-less; we are just in a dull moment where not much inspires similar groups of people in order to found a culture. This is why I cry out to America’s youth-be passionate about something, drink it in, and share it with your peers. You will be nurturing culture, and that, is to nurture the human spirit.

Portland, Oregon

2005-10-09T00:13:00.000-07:00

How damn gorgeous is this city? I love Portland, Oregon. No really. I mean I LOVE Portland, Oregon. I love Oregon like Juliet loved Romeo.

It has been a while since I have written. No excuse, except a worthless summer fling that I have since whole heartedly ended (what took me so long?), and a worthy excuse on the other end, travel. I have been up and down California and Oregon, this summer. I caught the Catfish Hunter of Rainbow trout, shot at a log with a 44 magnum, and hiked the giant sequoias. I painted cardboard with my best friends and then danced in the living room. It has been rejuvinating. Good people, good places, good vibes. Portland, for me, contains all of these carried to the exponential.

I am currently in grad school at UCSD getting my master's in ecology. My love for ecology has opened many doors for me, and one of those, is my passion for genetics. I should have known both of these fields were passions in me at a young age. In the 5th grade I won first place at the science fair for a project entitled "Why my eyes are blue?" In the 8th grade I won first place for my research on the evolution of the mink from the beginning of time. And I thought I wanted to be a journalist?

The reason for my digression on my love for genetics--> Once I complete my masters on sea turtle genetics, I can attend Portland State studying ecological genetics, and finally make Portland my home. Once I get my PhD, I can get a job at OHSU, studying genetics. It won't be ecological genetics, but it will be genetics, and I will be in Portland, and I will continue my outdoor lifestyle to replace the position of ecology in my life.

It doesn't mean I won't still whole-heartedly believe in conservation. I will always hold environmentalism close to my heart. But I have to follow my bliss. And my bliss says, ONWARD TO PORTLAND!

If you have never been to Portland, I highly suggest you visit. The streets pulsate with urban creativity. The trees shake with the intake of oregon rain. The bridges hum in tune with the columbia river. All this, with Mt. Hood sitting majestically in the background.

As long as it doesn't mean a step backwards in my career, I want to go to Portland. Even if it means a slight change in my career. I applied as a job working for the National Forest Service as a historian, for example. Pays well, requires travel, involves primary research, and has promotional potential. I am keeping my options open, but like I said, my bliss is whispering in my ear, "Go to the Rose City...."

Here fishy, fishy!

2005-08-21T12:56:00.000-07:00

This is from the Marine Fish Conservation Network. I would have signed it showing my support as a scientist, but I decided against it for reasons of job security. It is highly accurate descriptions of today's fisheries however, and I recommend any one interested in conservation read it. As scientists concerned with the health of our nation's ocean environment, we are troubled that U.S. fisheries management is not adequately protecting our marine fish and wildlife. Many of our nation's fish populations are persistently overfished, and in some cases are in danger of collapse. It is critical for the long-term sustainability of fish populations and the ocean ecosystems they depend on that our fishery management regime ensures that management decisions are based on sound science
Today, many important fish populations exist at a mere fraction of their historic numbers. For instance, according to estimates by the National Marine Fisheries Service, populations of bocaccio and canary rockfish on the West Coast are at less than ten percent of their historic levels (1); other scientists estimate that North Atlantic cod biomass levels are at less than four percent of what they were in 1852 (2); and shark populations have declined precipitously in the Atlantic and Gulf of Mexico. (3)
	Despite the continued depletion of these and other fish populations, fishery managers continue to set unsustainably high catch limits. Of the more than 300 federal fish populations for which we have assessments, over one third are at unsustainably low levels and one in five are being fished at unsustainably high rates. (4) Moreover, of the major fish populations that are depleted, approximately 60 percent continue to be fished at unsustainably high rates, ensuring further decline (5) and preventing the recovery of those stocks. Scientific analyses show that continued overfishing on already depleted fish populations increases the risk of a severe and prolonged population collapse. (6)
The eight Regional Fishery Management Councils (RFMC), which are responsible for making decisions regarding both allocation and conservation of fish resources, face intense political pressure to improve short-term economic conditions, and too often ignore scientific recommendations in favor of decisions that result in overfishing. Scientific committees convened by the RFMCs are responsible for developing accurate stock assessments, providing scientific advice on appropriate catch levels, and identifying essential habitat in need of protection for federal fish populations. But the RFMCs often disregard this critical scientific information when setting fish catch limits, and frequently set levels that result in the overfishing that is plaguing our fisheries.
In order to reverse course and move fish populations toward long-term sustainability, fishery management decisions must conform to the scientific recommendations of unbiased fisheries and marine scientists. It is not too late to restore our nation's fish populations to healthy levels, but reform has to happen now. After three years of intensive study, the U.S. Commission on Ocean Policy (USCOP) concluded that we are failing to adequately manage the Congress to adopt the recommendations of the USCOP and amend the Magnuson-Stevens Fisheryactivities that affect the health of our oceans, and outlined a model for improving the use of science in fisheries management. We urge Conservation and Management Act to strengthen the role of science in federal fisheries management by requiring Councils to adhere to the recommendations of their scientific committees.
Footnotes: 1. MacCall, Alec D. June 2003. Status of Bocaccio off California in 2003. Santa Cruz Laboratory, Southwest Fisheries Science Center, National Marine Fisheries Service, Santa Cruz, CA. Methot, Richard, K Piner. April 2001. Status of the Canary Rockfish Resource off California, Oregon and Washington in 2001. Northwest Fisheries Science Center, National Marine Fisheries Service, Seattle, WA. 2. Rosenberg, Andrew A, WJ Bolster, KE Alexander, WB Leavenworth, AB Cooper and MG McKenzie. 2005. The history of ocean resources: modeling cod biomass using historical records. Frontiers in Ecology 3(2): 84-90. 3. Baum, Julia K, RA Myers, DG Kehler, B Worm, SJ Harley and PA Doherty. 2003. Collapse and conservation of shark populations in the Northwest Atlantic. Science 299: 389-392. Baum, Julia K & RA Myers. 2004. Shifting baselines and the decline of pelagic sharks in the Gulf of Mexico. Ecology Letters 7: 135-145. 4. NMFS. 2004. Annual Report to Congress on the Status of U.S. Fisheries - 2003. U.S. Department of Commerce, NOAA, National Marine Fisheries Service, Silver Spring, MD, 24 pp. 5. NMFS. 2004. Ibid 6. National Research Council, 2004 "Improving the Use of the 'Best Scientific Information Available' Standard in Fisheries Management": 21.

2005-07-27T21:53:00.000-07:00

I was so happy in this pic- I needed to get outside...BAD!
Thanks for taking me, Dad!

2005-07-27T21:52:00.001-07:00

Me in Dad's classic Jeep Wrangler. Getting fairly good at driving it!

2005-07-27T21:52:00.000-07:00

Rubicon River, California

2005-05-16T20:33:00.000-07:00

Me with an East Pacific Green Sea Turtle at San Diego Bay

So I got an award that apparently they think will make me feel good for "almost winning" a scholarship today. "Honorable Mention" it said. Who are they kidding? They even spelled my name wrong. Anyways, I worked hard trying to write a passionate essay to get that scholarship, and since I didn't win, it isn't going to be published on their website. So I am posting it here. Enjoy.

I take advantage of happenstance opportunities when they come my way, including introducing myself to naturalist and author Carl Safina at a fisheries conference last spring. I was extremely humbled by his presence, so I respectfully approached him to sign my copy of his book, Song for A Blue Ocean. I shook his hand, and told him what an inspiration he was to me. Somewhat star-struck, I thanked him for signing my book and walked to a quiet corner to contemplate the previous moment. I opened the cover to glance at his autograph, and read the brief inscription he had written. “Because you’re the next wave,” it read. My spirit soared with this short memo. Carl Safina, a passionate, eloquent, talented marine conservationist and activist, had called me the next wave. My generation can have a positive impact on the protection of the ocean, and I can be a part of that movement. Carl Safina told me so.

The calm foothills that surround my native Northern California town are an odd place for a child to become obsessed with marine biology. Having a parent in the airline industry had left me blessed with annual trips to Hawaii, however, and I have been able to snorkel almost as long as I have been able to walk. These trips are where I was first introduced to the glorious wonders of the ocean’s biodiversity, and where my passion for the oceans first developed. I remember seeing my first sea turtle outside of captivity at the age of four. I also remember seeing the rainbow of corals and reef fishes at this age. I can hope that the perceived decline in the quality of the reefs that I see when I snorkel today is an artifact of my childhood memories being enhanced by my young imagination. I fear, unfortunately, that my memory does not fail me.

My lifetime has seen a drastic increase in environmental awareness. Before I was born, Rachel Carson’s A Silent Spring brought environmental issues to the forefront of modern politics. However, the oceans were still largely seen as a dumping ground for waste. The sea was considered too vast to ever be negatively affected by human activity. The perception that fish stocks could not ever possibly be depleted by fishing efforts was widely held. To date, the sad evidence that both these preconceptions were false is glaring. Fishing has depleted numerous once abundant and healthy stocks, and because non-target species are also harmed by marine fishing, marine mammals, sea birds, sharks, and sea turtles are also declining in abundance.

Community-level changes are being observed by marine scientists, and they are a direct result of human activities. In Alaska, the once over-hunted sea otter was slowly recovering. However, declines in seal populations, possibly a result of the removal of their food items due to overfishing, has left Killer Whales with sea otters as the next best meal. Otter populations are again declining because of this increased predation, and sea urchin populations are increasing, thereby decimating kelp forests, because there are less otters available to naturally limit the sea urchin populations. In the North Atlantic, decimated cod populations have resulted in a shift in the community structure, and dogfish and skates are now the dominate species. In the Caribbean, essential fish nursery habitat is being threatened by disease because sea turtle populations are dangerously low. The ecological function of grazing is occurring less and less in turtle grass beds and the community is changing because of this. If these community level changes are a result of human activity, then it is my belief that human activity can reverse or prevent these changes as well.

This is the cause I have dedicated my life to. The protection of our precious seas is how I choose to make a contribution to the earth’s history. I am not just aiming for the return of my colorful childhood memories; I refuse to be a victim to shifting baseline syndrome. Knowledge, persistence, and hope are the tools I can utilize to help conserve the marvelous species of the sea that have existed far before humans were able to extract them. Pursuing a graduate degree is an essential step in creating a career where I can actively participate in scientific endeavors that will benefit marine conservation.

My previous professional and educational opportunities, such as a position at the Southwest Fisheries Science Center Sea Turtle Research Lab, have led me to pursue a master’s degree with the University of California, San Diego. I am using genetic techniques to look at the nesting stock origins of Hawksbill sea turtles that have been stranded in Texas. This goal is not trivial. Hawksbills are highly endangered because they are harvested for their coveted colorful shells. Using genetics, I will be able to identify which nesting beaches the injured or morose hawksbills were born on. This will provide critical insight for managers trying to save the Caribbean Hawksbill populations from extinction.

My passion for the oceans carries over into my work and my research. I take my scientific education very seriously, because I plan on using it to promote science-based conservation of the oceans. People in my life know I care deeply about marine conservation, and they respect my passions because they see me diligently and enthusiastically pursuing them. I will not stand by and watch marine biodiversity precipitously decline without trying to do something about. For me that something is marine science. New technology and scientific methods, such as satellite telemetry, molecular ecology, and ecological modeling have the power to contribute to the development of a precautionary approach to the stewardship of the seas. My master’s thesis will train me in many of these new techniques, and I will transfer my skills into future research in the name of conservation. I represent the next wave of marine science, and I will use my opportunities, my education and my passion to help mitigate the tragedy of the seas caused by harmful human activity. Humanity can no longer hide behind ignorance. The ocean is not too vast to be harmed by us, nor is it too grand to be protected by us. With my passions as my guide and science and ecology at hand, I hope to make a difference in my lifetime, because I am the next wave of marine protection.

2005-03-22T10:40:00.000-08:00

Sacred Solitude.

2005-03-07T20:38:00.000-08:00

A Joshua Tree stand in the high desert.

2005-03-07T20:37:00.000-08:00

This is a distribution map of two varieties of Joshua Tree. The circles are Yucca brevifolia. The Xs are the variety Jaegerianna (x). (McKelvey 1938)

Joshua Trees

2005-03-07T19:51:00.000-08:00

I spent the weekend in Joshua Tree National Park. Although most of the park does not, in fact, have Joshua Trees growing, I happened to camp in a region where there were many. I was fairly captivated by them and thought I'd try and spread the love. They are a fascinating example of the adaptivity of life on earth. They are also one of the many desert plants that look like something straight out of a Dr. Suess book, which makes them fun. Apparently the Joshua Tree is named so because delusional water-starved Mormons making their way west thought a certain gnarled Joshua Tree looked like a person praying to St. Joshua. Interesting factoid. For those that are scientifically inclined, their scientific name is Yucca brevifolia and they are in the Liliaceae family. I did a quick search on google and found many research papers written on the tree for those of you who are interested in learning more about them.

[The] Joshua tree is a much and irregularly branched tree growing to some 30' tall. Young trees are ± covered with spreading or reflexed leaves and usually do not begin to branch until they are from 3' to 9' high, and in older specimens the leaves are clustered near the ends of branches. The rigid leaves are from 12" to 15" long, up to a couple of inches wide, with minutely serrate non-fibrous margins and an apical spine to 1/2" long. The flower clusters extend above the leaf clusters and are up to 20" long. The perianth is cream to greenish-white and generally waxen in appearance. The fruit is a capsule to 4" long that releases its seeds after being blown around on the ground. Joshua tree is an unlikely-appearing member of the lily family and grows on dry stony mesas, flats and slopes from 2000' to 6000' in the Mojave Desert, and is in fact an indicator species of that desert and the principal member of the plant community which is named for it, joshua tree woodland. Joshua trees do not branch until the plant has bloomed, and tall unbranched trunks of joshua trees as high as 10'-15' may be found, indicating that no blooming has taken place. Thereafter, branching takes place wherever there has been a bloom. The flowers are pollinated by the Yucca moth with which the joshua tree has a symbiotic relationship. They typically bloom from March to May.
Source: http://www.calflora.net/bloomingplants/joshuatree.html

The Uncertain Road Ahead

2005-02-27T19:09:00.000-08:00

Even in the third grade, being an environmentalist was important to me. I had my mom help me start an environmental club; The Earthworms, we called ourselves. And I was constantly saving money to buy acres of rainforest or adopt whales. Respectfully playing in nature, or fighting to protect it, really are what make me happy. Other than my various forms of art, it is the major sum of my being.

Because of this spiritual component, throughout my life I have bounced from one version of an environmental job to another. As a child, I wanted to be a marine biologist. The first two years of college I wanted to be an environmental journalist. Then back to marine biology. Now, I have come to a cross roads. I don't necessarily want to be anything precise and exact--as long as it has an lofty outdoor component and is for the greater good of mother nature, I'll be perfectly content. More than content, I'll be happy. I don't want to study marine biology exclusively anymore. I want to have the flexibility to study any species in any ecosystem I want. There are so many places out west I would love to live, and very few, if any of them, happen to be on the coast. Although I will always have a special place in my heart for sea turtles, I think there are plenty of people studying sea turtles in the world, and I can't see myself happy any longer studying just sea turtles.

This is somewhat problematic, because I am doing a master's project on sea turtle genetics. But, I have decided to stick to my guns, and finish my master's project nevertheless. Coming out next June with an MS in Ecology certainly won't hurt me in the quest for a job in my interests. And being acquainted with conservation genetics is important for anyone wanting to work in conservation biology. This focus on sea turtle genetics does limit my scope somewhat, however. To counter act this, I am using my spare time (funny thing for a grad student to have, I know, but I guess I am lucky) to branch out into other areas of ecology that I am not as experienced in. I have arranged a volunteer position with the Audobon Society this summer. Sea turtles may not be found in many places in the US, but birds are EVERYWHERE. And, I am one of those people fascinated by birds. Many people, even fellow ecologists, think birds are boring. I, however, am fascinated by them. If you are one of those people that thinks birds are boring, I suggest you rent Winged Migration. It will change your mind, I hope.

I plan on focusing on birds this summer, and the skills I will get by working with the Audobon Society will be essential if I want to apply for a job with other conservation oriented NGOs in the future. Perhaps in the fall, I start self educating on mammals, or plants even. I plan on starting to seriously look for jobs about this time next year, and hope to have something lined up to leave San Diego by June 2006. Although I am doing better in San Diego this time around that I ever have, I don't want to live here any longer than I have to. I don't know where I'll end up, maybe back to the Northwest, maybe Lake Tahoe, maybe the Southwest, Idaho or Colorado! None of these places have sea turtles, and right now, that is actually a plus. All I know, is this new outlook on the uncertain road ahead has opened so many doors. I can do anything I want. And doing what I want, is precisely what I am going after.

The Desert

2005-02-17T22:00:00.000-08:00

Last weekend I went to the desert. I always rant and rave about how much I love the desert, and how I can appreciate its beauty when others can't (I can be such a snobby-hippy-elitist if I'm not careful), and how full of life the desert really is, but I hadn't actually been to the desert in almost 6 months. This recent trip was rejuvenating, to say the least. It was brief, only one night, but enough to paint a new picture in my mind that I can meditate on for a dose of spontaneous serenity to last me until the next trip, which will hopefully be very soon.

It is difficult to pin-point exactly what it is about the desert that is so attractive to certain types of souls. The desert has a certain exotic stillness to it, that is foreign and simultaneously comforting. Many people are simply struck by its uniqueness. Its so odd, so different, from the ecosystems we are generally most familiar with, you can't help but be struck by its beauty. Indeed, many desert visitors liken it to landing on the moon. Because its been so wet in So Cal of late, the desert's moonscape was splatter-painted with purple, yellow, and pink reminders that life is actually quite vibrant in the desert.

Those of you who know me, know I am not a low-energy, sit quietly type of person. In the desert, and in natural areas removed from civilization in general, I'm still moving, talking, and being constantly, but its more serene. I am not thinking about all my responsibilities, or even my immediate goals and aspirations. When I awoke early Monday, I stepped out of the tent and saw nothing but the desert, and it was such a wonderful feeling---purity is the only way I can try to explain it. No alarm clock, no noisy street, no 6am news broadcast. Just the desert in all its splendor.

Recently, I have been re-thinking my life goals. Yesterday, I had what I was calling a mini-mid-20's-life crisis. I've figured it out now, crisis atleast temporarily adverted-because a career counselor told me today that I was in a healthy, normal area of career-oriented doubt and confusion. These feelings of "I'm not so sure what I want to do with my life" starting creeping in while I was in Virginia. I used to plan on being a marine biologist. Not so sure I want to work with just marine ecosystems any more. I used to want to be a professor. Pretty sure I don't want to get into acadamia any more, nor do I even want to get my PhD any more. I think that I should be able to find a job that meets my needs for happiness with just a masters (I'll admit, some of these feelings have stemmed from a bad case of fifth-year-senioritus). I still want to have a career in environmental science or conservation biology--that much hasn't changed. However, I am no longer sure what direction I want to take with it. This week, all I can think about is how I wish it would stop raining so I could get back to the desert. To get back to nature. I kept thinking how great it was to hike, to be outdoors, intimate with the earth. The relationship I have with the environment, this longing to get closer to nature every chance I can---this is why I chose ecology. Not so I could sit behind a computer calculating stock assessments for agencies that won't even listen to my conclusions!

The rekindling of my motivations occurs every time I manage to break away from University life to the great outdoors. This is sort of common sense. Of course an environmentalist feels motivated after spending time in the environment! But its such an important part of who I am, I have to highlight it nevertheless. I may not know exactly what I want to do with my life anymore, but I know I will be making it back to the desert again as soon as possible, and that having intimate moments with mother nature must always be a main thread in the fabric of my life, whether my career or my hobby---nature feeds my soul, which can start to get pretty hungry in a metropolia like San Diego. A genuine joy for the outdoors will always be the defining characteristic of my person---the serenity granted by the desert included. God grant me serenity. God grant me the desert.

If you would measure the quiet majesty, the beauty, the sanctity of the [desert], do it with a two-foot rule. Automobiles,... trail bikes, ATVs or whatever, will get you to the [desert] and through the [desert], but to be a PART of the great sanctuary -- walk. And when you walk, observe, and think. Look thoughtfully at all of the things about you. Ponder over them. They are beautiful, silent. And above all things on earth, they are honest. And they are at peace. Let them remind you that you owe your allegiance not to you and your kind, but to them and their kind, for they are nature.
--Unknown, edited

Beyond the wall of the unreal city, beyond the security fences topped with barbed wire and razor wire, beyond the asphalt beltings of the superhighways, beyond the cemented banksides of our temporarily stopped and mutilated rivers, beyond the lies that poison the air, there is another world waiting for you. It is the old true world of the deserts, the mountains, the forests, the islands, the shores, the open plains. Go there. Be there.
--Edward Abbey

2005-02-17T21:58:00.000-08:00

Passion of the Chelle

2005-02-06T19:50:00.000-08:00

In this coming of age phenomenon is a lot of time where I find myself philosophizing.
But rather than about them, or they, he, she or it,
Its me, myself, and MY id.
This doesn't make me narcisscistic.
I'm simply trying to reveal through the power of day dreams
exactly what it is that makes me tick.
This is some heavy shit. I am
wading through my soul after all.
And sometimes the mud is so sticky I nearly lose my boots,
but this is no rotting bog of egotism.
Its a green, lush everglade of nuture versus nature.
I've got a new mandate to become the creature I am.
Become the creature you are.
Its self realization.
Becoming one with my imagination.
I was sleeping at the station, but I woke up
and all aboard!
I am a creature of the earth
all aboard!
I used to strive for happiness
and now I just am.
I am a being of passion
My pain
My pleasure
My passion!
thats what it is
My passion---
its not my itelligence, my IQ, my habit of overachieving.
Its me being.
Its my passion for green trees.
Blue rivers.
Red deserts.
Yellow aspens in the autumn.
Silver snow in December.
Its my
passion for the sun.
My passion for nature is my final sum!
I run because of this obsession with mother nature.
I am nature's creature and I revel in this epiphany.
I am a symphony because of it.
Because I love.
Because I have passion.
Because I love.
Turquoise skies and seas.

2005-02-06T11:00:00.000-08:00

This is me at In-N-Out when I was growing my hair out. I don't think I will ever cut it short again, but in this picture I like it. Notice in the backgrounf a three dimensional surfing carving down the side of the building.

Pura Vida

2005-02-06T09:34:00.000-08:00

Segundo, Me, and Ramon drinking Imperial at 9am.

The picture is my Costa Rican host dad, Segundo, myself when I had short hair (I did not feel like dealing with my thick curls while I was hiking around the jungle so I cut it off. If I ever went back to the jungle for a long period of time, I'd probably dread it), and Segundo's cousin Ramon. Segundo was a very traditional Costa Rican male, but he had been some what softened by years of American host students. Ramon is one of my favorite people on planet earth. Ramon is deaf and mute. He doesn't know sign language. Out of necessity he and Segundo have developed their own version. By the time I left Costa Rica I had taught Ramon to say his name in ASL. I was doing research projects on stingless bees while I was in Costa Rica and I was having a difficult time finding nests. Ramon found 3 for me! Imagine communicating with no speech, no sign language, no written word, "I need stingless bee nests" to someone. He took me around on his motorcycle to show me where the nests were. Segundo's wife, my Host Mom, Maida, is like a third mother to me (...I currently have two- my mother and my birth mother). I used to write her all the time. Then one day I got a letter that she had had a stroke but was doing all right. I haven't written back since in fear that she might not make it. I really need to write Costa Rica. I can't let my ties with society keep me from the wonderful place either. One day I shall return. I have prayed often for my host family's health and happiness. I love the Brenes, I love Monteverde. In the picture we are all drinking the national beer of Costa Rica, imperial. Its my last morning at the house and Ramon has brought over three beers for us to share as a sort of going away party. Ahhhh....pura vida.

2005-02-03T18:37:00.000-08:00

"...I'll fly away, fly away, old glory..."

More on me and how I am not a Nazi hippy

2005-01-21T17:26:00.000-08:00

I understand why some people enjoy hunting. I enjoy fishing. I eat meat and enjoy it and dont feel guilty. I can see fishing from the fisherman's point of view, even though I do tend worry about the status of today's fisheries (but unlike that crazy Peta guy that was on Fox news last month, I do not think killing a fish is equivalent to killing a cat or dog). I understand why we have to cut down trees; although I support riparian buffers and selective logging. I LOVE offroading; but I break for wildlife. I don't like dams; but I realize right now the only logical alternative to making energy is nuclear power and I am not sure how I feel about that either; so for now, I support dams engineered with things like fish ladders and ways to deal with sediment build up. I drive a Rav-4. So I am either a Bill-Clintonesque moderate or the biggest hypocritcal Nazi-hippy you have ever met in your life. You decide.

Here is one way that I am a Nazi Hippy---> I hate, unless I find myself in Australia one day, Eucalyptus trees....more on this on a future post discussing "ECOSYSTEM"ism.

Hypocrit

2005-01-21T16:17:00.000-08:00

So, today I read a quote from Stephen J Gould saying people who like biodiversity tend to think of homo sapiens as the biggest catasrophe since the cretaceous extinction event. And I agreed with him. Now, my earlier post was talking about how much faith I have in humanity. I think instead of getting down on myself for being a hypocrit, I should accept that I believe humanity is better without society, and that it is greed that is the root of all the strange predicaments humans have gotten the environment into today. But--my faith in humanity says they did it out of ignorance, not realizing the impact they are going to have on the world, and when they are educated, they will try to reverse. If this isn't true, I am wasting my life.

2005-01-20T21:51:00.000-08:00

This is me in September in Virginia, after going "electrofishing."

2005-01-20T21:46:00.000-08:00

My wonderfully crazy little sis, Bobina (real name, Robin Marie). She does not hug trees or save whales. But she likes puppies and would burn her bra if she had one.

Nazi Hippies

2005-01-20T18:53:00.000-08:00

The title of my blog is a work in process-but, those were the first things that came to my mind so, there it is. But just incase any of my more moderate friends out there are freaking out, I am NOT a Nazi Hippy. What is a Nazi Hippy you might be wondering. Nazi hated everyone who were not Christian, blonde haired, blue eyed Arians. Nazi Hippies hate everyone who aren't armpit loving, vegan smelling, dread donning liberals. I once knew a girl who epitomized the Nazi Hippy charicature. She said she would actually rather have someone NOT VOTE than vote for George W. Bush. This sort of attitude sickens me--she saw a Bush-voter as below the right to vote. Furthermore, one of my biggest pet peeves in the entire world is not voting. The Republican party knows that if lazy dems would get out there and vote, they would win. Even with all those red states on the map. But-I have gone astray from my point(s).

I want everyone to vote--for whoever their heart desires. I think prisoners should be able to vote. I think homeless should be able to vote. I think immigrants should be able to vote. I think you should never have an excuse NOT to vote. I even want---gasp----Republicans to vote. Now, this may not prove to you that I am not a Nazi Hippy. But, I have friends that don't recycle. I have friends that don't care about the environment. I have friends that are not pro-choice. I have friends that are business majors (*lol*). This should give you a better idea of my non-Nazi hippiness.

As the temporary title says, this is a LOVE fest. I love humanity. I am very Rosseau in my love, faith and trust in humanity. This is not realistic, but it is how I choose to look at the world. I could not have dedicated my entire being to protecting the longevity of this planet earth if I looked at humanity in any other light. This is why I want everyone to vote, and I want everyone to have human rights, and I why I am not a Nazi Hippy. Now, somewhere in the US, a Nazi Redneck is freaking out. He/She doesn't approve of my tree hugging love fest. But you know what? That's ok. Because I love he or she any ways...

Although one of my favorite activities in the world is solving the worlds problems over coffee with my pacifist-non-nazi-hippy friends, I can't discuss crazy liberal ideology all the time. So, friends, we can have coffee whenever you want no matter your voting record....even if you don't have a voting record (although this may be one topic I will pester you on). We don't have to discuss politics. We can talk about the Simpsons, or football (definitely not a nazi-hippy. I love football!), or art or music or whatever you want to talk about. Or you can tell me why you disagree with my tree-hugging love fest ideology--and you are still a friend.